July 2021 – Page 2 – Insideagarden

Posted on July 20, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

LeAnn Rimes Leads With Vulnerability in Second Season of ‘Wholly Human’ Podcast

“Real Women, Real Work” is a Darling series about everyday women who work in various fields including business, entertainment, science and education. We want to get to know the WHY behind their WHAT and get an inside look into different industries.

LeAnn Rimes is known for her success as a Grammy-award winning singer, songwriter and actress, but with the launch of the second season of her mental wellness and wholeness podcast, “Wholly Human,” she is now also a leader in the mental health advocacy space.

Following up on the success of the first season of the iHeartRadio podcast, which reached #2 on iTunes Health & Fitness chart and in the Top 35 overall for podcasts worldwide, LeAnn continues to explore the wellness space in the second season of the acclaimed podcast. Ranging from topics such as anxiety, neuroscience, spirituality and the chatter in the mind, LeAnn leads listeners in honest conversations with experts to provide practical tools for their own wellness journeys.

More than ever, LeAnn is dedicated to using her voice and her celebrity to uplift others by removing the shame surrounding mental health. As she celebrates her 25th anniversary as a recording artist, LeAnn will continue her country-wide tour, and in early fall, will release her next studio album, “God’s Work.”

Darling got to sit down with LeAnn to discuss the second season of her podcast, which debuts today, as well as the journey that led to her upcoming album.

LeAnn, you are a singer, actress, author and now podcast host. When you were a kid, what did you imagine you’d be when you grew up?

As a child, I wanted to perform. I loved to entertain. I loved to sing. I remember when I was little I either wanted to be a singer, psychiatrist or the first female professional softball player. The singing panned out way more than the other things. I remember when I was young telling my mom that I wanted people to know my name. Everybody would know my name no matter where they lived. So I think I’ve done fairly well.

I’d also say the past year and a half has allowed me to diversify in a lot of ways. There are gifts through this pandemic. It’s allowed me to play in different areas where I didn’t know if I would have the time before. I have been on tour since I was 13.

At the beginning of 2020, I was talking to a friend, and I had all these ideas for a new record and a podcast. All of the sudden, I had plenty of time to create all these things. The pandemic really has allowed me to diversify and play in areas where I wanted to play but perhaps there was fear. This past year and a half has really been about expanding into other places and beautiful crevices of myself that I have not yet explored. It’s been really exciting.

This past year and a half has really been about expanding into other places and beautiful crevices of myself that I have not yet explored.

You were catapulted into the spotlight at a really young age. At 13, you were a country music star. How did you deal with the pressure?

In one word, denial. Honestly. We just celebrated 25 years since my first single and album. I look back and I recognize how much denial I had to go through in order to continue to do the work that I was doing. It was always about forward movement and not stopping.

During this down time during COVID, I’ve been off the performance train for 16 months. It’s hard to get back on. It’s given me an opportunity to recognize how unhealthy some of my life was. My nervous system has been stunned since I was a child. In 2020, it was really uncomfortable to have so much down time because my nervous system was wound up. It has been eye opening to reflect after 25 years and to recognize the ways in which I had to suppress and deny in order to survive.

As a public figure, people might assume you don’t have struggles with finding your voice, fear or feelings of depression. What have been the biggest stereotypes or assumptions you’ve had to overcome?

I think there’s a big assumption—that I am not human actually. We have spent many years as a society, not just with celebrities but with ourselves, shoving down our humanity and presenting a one-dimensional version of ourselves to everyone else. I think we are now finally stripping that back and we are being able to meet one another in our full humanity.

People look at anyone in the spotlight and think they have everything. They ask: Why would they be upset? We always think that having things equals happiness or that it would get you out of some level of pain. On many levels, that is not true.

Having so many opinions and projections, as a celebrity you really are projected on by thousands and millions of people. I joked the other day with a friend that the fact that I know who the hell I am outside of what people have projected on me is a miracle. I think we are breaking down a lot of stigmas right now.

I am happy to be on the forefront of that and tear down the stereotypes and shame around mental health. I’m honored to allow people to have their experiences fully and not hide parts of themselves.

I am happy to be on the forefront of that and tear down the stereotypes and shame around mental health.

One of your newest projects is your podcast, “Wholly Human with LeAnn Rimes.” Can you tell me a little bit about the backstory of why you started it?

My whole journey has been about collecting fragmentations of myself and bringing them back into wholeness. It’s a bit of a play on being incredibly human and the souls that we are. I wanted to create a place to connect with people on a human level.

With me being a public figure, people forget that I am human. There have been so many projections upon my story by the media and people. This is another avenue to be even more open about it and share what I am going through and use my celebrity and my name. It’s been about sharing my journey of expanding into a fuller version of myself and taking people along that ride so that they have the opportunity to do the same.

We are talking about things I never would have thought I would talk about in a million years. People are connecting with it, and that’s been so beautiful. Hearing the stories of how this has helped listeners deepen their own paths has made me really happy because that was my intention.

On the podcast, what are some common roadblocks you’ve found that hinder our wholeness?

One of our biggest roadblocks is our own voice in our heads. The bully that we think is true and isn’t 99 percent of the time.

It’s so common to see all the different ways in which we have survived, all of our survival mechanisms from an early age. We fed off the world around us. From the time we are born until we are 6 or 7 years old, we basically are carbon copies of our environment. It really is about retraining ourselves and our thoughts. Our programming all plays into who we think we are. It’s about unwinding who we think we are and discovering who we really are.

It really is about retraining ourselves and our thoughts…. It’s about unwinding who we think we are and discovering who we really are.

The second season of the podcast is releasing today! What can listeners look forward to?

I am definitely more comfortable with the podcast experience and hosting. We deal with everything from anxiety to the chatter of the mind to the space of the heart and love. Every podcast guest this season is so different from experts on neuroscience to spirituality. We really have dug in further this season and bring people some really great information.

Everyone’s healing journey is so different. The hope is that the podcast is just a guide. We give them some helpful and tangible things to play with. We are all scientists, and we are also science experiments. So we have to play and see what works for us.

You have a new album releasing this fall called “God’s Work.” What inspired this album?

It is really incredible and inspired from a very spiritual place. I look at it as an extension of the chant record I released in 2020 in a lot of ways but in full musical form.

I speak truth on this record that scares me. It scared me to write. It scared me to perform, and that’s exciting because I know I’m pushing a boundary for myself and probably a lot of people too. I don’t hold back. I am so proud of this album.

I know I’m pushing a boundary for myself and probably a lot of people too.

I hope that it helps support people in their awakening. I am creating music to support the awakening and the moment of time that we are in. It’s been a really exciting album to make.

How would you describe the sound? How is it unique from previous albums?

I like to call it “World-acana” because it has an Americana vibe, but it has a lot of world groups. I love rhythm. There’s something about rhythm that moves me. Drums move me. So we started off playing with rhythms and kind of built it out from there.

I feel like every album of mine is so different. I have always been one to play. I love music and creating it. There’s a real message that I’m sending with this album. I think that it’s a call to action for a lot of people, a wake up call. It’s been a world expression that I feel called to include.

If you had to pick, what would be your favorite song on the album? What about a close second?

Now that’s like choosing your favorite child. There’s a song called “The Wild” that probably is my favorite song on the record so far. It’s my favorite expression of something new of mine. It scared the shit out of me when I wrote it. What came out was so true, honest and raw.

There were five incarnations of this song. Even when I went in to cut a scratch vocal, I felt like it wasn’t right. So I sent everyone out of the room, and I ended up finding this really cool hook to the song. I felt like I really let out the wild in me. Then, I knew that the song was complete, but it felt like serious birth pains. I felt like I was birthing a truth for myself and so many women when I recorded the song. I am really proud of that song and how I trusted the process.

What advice would you give the young woman struggling to find her voice or perhaps who feels stuck?

Trusting the process is so important. Know that where you are is not where you will end up. It’s not the end. It’s just a momentary stop on your journey.

The more we resist the thing that is showing up for us in the moment, the longer it persists. When we let things in, we become free because we give ourselves and that moment of our lives space to fully express themselves.

The feelings of being stuck are only momentary. Trust your heart and listen to what you feel. I don’t think there’s a wrong answer. We are here to learn. It’s all about the journey.

Know that where you are is not where you will end up. It’s not the end. It’s just a momentary stop on your journey.

Knowing what you know now, what words of wisdom would you give to your younger self?

Keep a sense of self. I don’t even know if I had a sense of self back then. I think I did have one but then opinions, projections and that programming gets put on us from the outside world. Trust yourself. I don’t think anyone knows better than you.

To keep up to date with LeAnn, follow her on Instagram and listen to the second season of her podcast “Wholly Human.” To find out more, visit her website.

Images via Norman Seeff

Posted on July 19, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

Why the Road to Success Is Much Wider Than We Imagined

Each time I rewatch Greta Gerwig’s 2019 rendition of “Little Women,” there are a number of lines that hit me in my gut. One of which is when Amy, exhausted from her painting pursuits, says “I want to be great or nothing.”

It’s a fire that resonates with me almost too well. It’s the spark of ambition that motivates me, but it’s also the crippling fear that makes anything short of a very specific measurement of success not enough.

During my senior year of college, I was the managing editor for my college newspaper. On a small campus, it felt like a big deal. I’m a natural leader, and it was a job that felt right for me, even if it often left me sleep-deprived. I graduated with this shaky confidence, ready to go anywhere and do anything, so long as it was something I’d be excited to tell people about.

With this wide horizon in front of me, I found myself stuck—perhaps by some combination of being unprepared, cocky or unrealistic—in the possibility of all I could do. I did not really know what I actually wanted besides an admirable title on my Instagram bio.

A few miscellaneous jobs and disappointments later, I found myself rooted in a city I didn’t think I’d be in, with a job I wouldn’t have imagined, conflicted and growing restless all at once. I am a success-oriented person, certainly not always in good ways. This was perhaps my first real reckoning with it. There was, I realized, a vision in my head of what success meant to me, and it was a metric I was failing to meet.

There was a vision in my head of what success meant to me, and it was a metric I was failing to meet.

Whether or not you consider yourself ambitious or success-oriented, we all have an idea of “the good life” that serves as the destination we work toward. Truthfully, this isn’t bad. It can be an inspiration, a picture that reminds us of where or who we want to be. It can, however, also be a burden—an unrealistic bar that we’re constantly striving to meet.

The difference—and the freedom—comes in being able to expand our definitions of “success.” In the past year, with the world shut down, plans canceled and options to travel limited, we may have found ourselves staring our disappointments square in the face, unable to be distracted by our usual amusements. What we were left with was a life that didn’t match the picture of success we once imagined. Perhaps, as in my personal experience, the strain on our mental (or physical) health even showed us new limitations.

The difference—and the freedom—comes in being able to expand our definitions of “success.”

Redefining success does not mean throwing out dreams or insisting that the little everyday victories are the extent of our accomplishments. It simply means imagining a future that gratefully receives what has been accomplished today and looks forward to what that could mean for tomorrow. This allows us to receive our own path, rather than pursuing someone else’s.

In the age of social media, there is a temptation to copy the success of others. We are looking for the hack, the cause-and-effect that gets us to that point, with that career, with that house and with those followers. However, when we think of what inspires us, it’s not the life-hack or short-cut someone is trying to sell us on Instagram. It’s the unexpected story of those who worked faithfully, dreamed uniquely, overcame and carried themselves and their skills with purpose.

Typically, these are also the people who are the most content with their lives. They are unconcerned with ladder-climbing or striving. Instead, they use their energy toward leveraging what they have and not worrying about what they don’t.

Our day-to-day life may fall short of our big and sparkling dreams, but it is not a consolation prize. It is our gift and our privilege to steward it well. There is purpose in every moment, and to misjudge any moment along our journeys as less than success is to miss the value and humanity of the present moment and opportunities.

Our day-to-day life may fall short of our big and sparkling dreams, but…it is our gift and our privilege to steward it well.

Most days, I wrestle with the concept of success. I write this from a very tiny living room in a cheap apartment in a sweet, small city. I quit my day job last fall to take up freelance work full-time. At least once a week when someone asks me, “How’s work going?,” I tell them all the things I wish I was doing better.

I continue to be moved by the words of the character Amy March, “I want to be great, or nothing.” I’ve grown to realize “great” exists everywhere, in every season and the road is not as narrow (or glamorous) as we have been led to believe. So I often take time—alongside putting together beautiful vision boards—to remind myself that my story will not look like anyone else’s and that is a good and freeing thing.

Success is not limited to what we can imagine but to our willingness to gratefully and faithfully accept who we are and what we have to offer with determination, vision and purpose.

How has your definition of success changed in time? Why is it important not to compare our career journeys with others?

Image via Madeline Mullenbach

Posted on July 18, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

A Lesson From the French on How to Rest Well During Summertime

It’s difficult to put into words what summertime means in France. An analogy that seems fitting is to compare summer in France to a finely aged wine. The French work hard all year to harvest the fruit of their labor, but when it comes to summer vacation, they know that, like an aged bottle of red, the secret to excellence is allowing time, rest and stillness to do the work. So let’s learn the French way to do summer—by taking time to relish in the abundance and harvest of the year through true rest.

As a lover of California sunshine, living abroad in France for four years gave me a new understanding of summer as I faced my first dark, cold and damp winter in Paris. The short days and crowded metros made me crave space and light. Springtime in Paris was an emotional rollercoaster as weather was unpredictable and thunderstorms would interrupt pique-niques and plans.

The French do not live to work. They work to live. Even embedded within the language, the verb “être” (to be) is often used more than “faire” (to do). Daily life in the summer is centered on being not merely doing. Summers are not just for kids on break from school, but the entire society celebrates and savors all that summer has to offer.

The French do not live to work. They work to live.

Summer Solstice, June 21, is welcomed with a national music festival called La Fête de La Musique. The festival originated in the 1980’s when the Minister of Culture desired to bring people and music to the streets.

By allowing amateurs and professionals to play without permits, cost or noise restrictions at the festival, all genres of music are made accessible to the public. On the longest day of the year, everyone celebrates life with a 24-hour nationwide party. In Paris, all you need to do is walk for a few blocks and you will stumble on elderly couples dancing in the streets, punk-rock youth blasting their protests, classical quartets lining cafés and children, always at the front line of any crowd, soaking in the sounds and experience of music.

This annual festival is just a debut of all France has to offer for the summer months. All year long you hear the French dream and discuss plans for “les vacances.” Embedded in French culture is the value of time for rest more than the grind of work and capitalism.

Embedded in French culture is the value of time for rest more than the grind of work and capitalism.

The government by law requires full-time workers to take at least five weeks vacation, on top of public holidays throughout the year. By August, most shops are closed for the month with handwritten notes from owners explaining “on est en vacances.” We are on vacation and will reopen in September.

The French summer is unlike any other. Located in the heart of Europe, the geography of France allows for easy access to travel and weekend trips to new cultures and countries. All you have to do is hop on a south-bound train and you will be at the seaside in a matter of hours.

The longer days, full feasts of delicious seasonal food, time spent with family and a nation-wide pause on work allow for a restoration of the soul of humanity. This summer, may we also learn to pause and let time and rest do its work in us—making us like a fine wine full of flavor and life.

How good are you about prioritizing rest? Why is this so important?

Image via Coco Tran, Darling Issue No. 19

Posted on July 18, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

The Correct Order to Apply Your Skincare Products

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Source: @devsday

Regardless of the number of products in your skincare routine, if you’re not a dermatologist or expert, figuring out how to actually make sure all of these products work involves a little bit of research. Daily skincare routines include several steps, and it can be a little confusing as to what goes on top of what and which ingredients shouldn’t be applied together.

We’re demystifying the proper steps and applications of various products and giving a few basic no-nos when it comes to combining certain ingredients, but we urge you to be mindful of the active ingredients in the products you already own. Should your hydrating serum and vitamin C serum be applied together? Well, that depends on their main ingredients. This article will help you know what to look out for.

Meet the expert
Dr. Cynthia Bailey M.D.
BOARD-CERTIFIED DERMATOLOGIST, FOUNDER OF DR. BAILEY SKIN CARE
Dr. Cynthia Bailey is a practicing board-certified dermatologist based in California and the founder of Dr. Bailey Skin Care. She focuses on skincare routines, skin issues, and more.

The Basics

Why is how you layer your skincare even important? It all comes down to absorption. “Layering your skin products in the right order helps you get the most out of your routine; you want maximal percutaneous absorption of important active ingredients,” said Cynthia Bailey, M.D., board certified dermatologist and founder of Dr. Bailey Skin Care. “Applying a product that blocks others from getting through your skin will be a frustrating waste of time and money.”

When it comes to the proper order of application of products, you typically want to go from thin to thick. “Always apply water-based products before oil-based products and try to layer thinner texture water-based products before thicker/creamier/oily containing products,” Dr. Bailey said. The viscosity of your products determines how they’re absorbed into your skin. If you apply a watery serum after you’ve already layered on a cream or lotion, you are not receiving the full benefits of the thinner product because it’s not able to penetrate the skin with something else so thick underneath. This foundational principle has some exceptions that we’ll cover, namely when it comes to eye creams, eye serums, and retinol.

The proper application of products also differs between night and day applications, as you won’t be using the same products each time. “Ideally you want a twice-a-day AM/PM skincare routine separated by about 12 hours or so,” Dr. Bailey added. While some products are best applied at night (like retinol) or in the morning (antioxidants like vitamin C), your routine will generally look similar, always starting with cleanser.

According to Dr. Bailey, the proper skincare routine involves:

Cleanser
Correcting products (like retinol, AHA/BHA, and other products meant to improve current skin issues)
Hydrating products (serums and moisturizer)
Protecting products (sunscreen)

Here, we’re breaking down just how to organize your routine.

Source: Danielle Moss

What Order to Apply Your Skincare Products in the Morning

Step 1: Oil Cleanser

Note that if you aren’t using a facial oil in your nighttime routine, then oil cleansing in the morning isn’t always necessary. However, if you have dry skin, using an oil cleanser instead of a gel or milky cleanser in the morning might be a better alternative. It will hydrate your skin while getting rid of any products or sweat from the night before.

DHC

Deep Cleansing Oil

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Neutrogena

Cleansing Oil & Makeup Remover

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Step 2: Micellar Water

Cleanse with either a water-based cleanser or do a micellar water rinse by saturating a cotton pad with pure micellar water and sweeping it all over your face and neck.

Garnier

Micellar Cleansing Water

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Bioderma

Makeup Remover

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Step 3: Hydrating Toner and Essences

To keep your skin supple and hydrated, use a hydrating toner or essence while your skin is still damp from the micellar water. The key to a hydrated, plump complexion is layers of moisture, so we’ll start with this step: Apply your toner or essence with your hands and pat it into the skin.

Pacifica

Hydrating Milk Tonic

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Sunday Riley

Firming Resurfacing Essence

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Step 4: Treatment Serums and Ampoules

The typical treatment serum used in daytime skincare is a vitamin C serum, but no matter what types of serums you use, just make sure that the most potent active ingredient goes on first. To save time, I’d recommend a Vitamin C serum combined with hyaluronic acid so you don’t have to spend time layering in the early morning. But if you do choose to layer serums, always apply the hydrating serum after the treatment serum.

Hyper Skin

Brightening Vitamin C Serum

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Glow Recipe

Hyaluronic Acid Serum

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Step 5: Eye Cream or Eye Serums

The skin under your eyes is the thinnest on your face, so your eye-specific products need to go on before any heavier moisturizers.

Biossance

Squalane + Marine Algae Eye Cream

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OLEHENRIKSEN

Banana Bright Eye Crème

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Step 6: Moisturizer

There’s no such thing as skin that’s too moisturized, but if you struggle with heavy moisturizer under makeup, consider a gel consistency or a light lotion.

Neutrogena

Hydro Boost Gel-Cream

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Tatcha

The Dewy Skin Cream

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Step 7: SPF

“Sunscreen typically sits on top of your skin or penetrates just into the superficial layers of dead cells,” Dr. Bailey said. This is why you always finish your routine with sunscreen between 30 and 50 SPF. Look for a milky essence consistency or a serum style sunscreen to avoid white cast or caking makeup.

Black Girl Sunscreen

Sunscreen Lotion SPF 30

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SuperGoop!

Sunscreen SPF 40

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Source: Lunya

What Order to Apply Your Skincare Products at Night

For nighttime skincare, you need to consider whether or not you want to incorporate a retinol in your routine. Retinol can be a little daunting, so read our full rundown on it here. Nighttime skincare is the time for more serious treatments like retinol and other photosensitizing AHAs like glycolic and lactic acids because a lot of these active ingredients break down in sunlight.

If you want to use both an AHA and retinol, it’s best to alternate their application. Use retinol one night and your AHA the next, and so on, but be careful and go slow because these ingredients are known to cause irritation when you first start them. A typical nighttime skincare routine will look relatively similar to a daytime routine with a few minor tweaks.

Step 1: Oil Cleanser

An oil cleanser is always necessary at night, as you will be removing makeup, SPF, environmental pollutants, and the sebum your skin produced during the day. You can use an oil cleanser or a cleansing balm depending on your preferences.

Good Molecules

Cleansing Balm

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Biossance

Squalane + Antioxidant Cleansing Oil

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Step 2: Gel or Milky Cleanser

To make sure all of the oily residue from your cleansing oil/balm is removed and that your skin is totally clear of makeup, dirt, and oil, opt for a gel or milky cleanser. Gel is great for combination/oily skin or acne-prone skin, while a milky cleanser will clean skin without stripping away all of the moisture on dry skin types.

The Ordinary

Squalane Cleanser

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Avène

Cleanance Cleansing Gel

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Step 3: Hydrating Toner or Liquid Exfoliator

You can use the same toner or essence you used in the morning to hydrate your skin and prepare it for any of the harsh acid ingredients or retinoids you might use next. You can also use a liquid exfoliant with AHA or BHA during this step. Make sure to not use any other acids in your evening routine and follow this step with a hydrating moisturizer.

The Ordinary

Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution

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Paula’s Choice

2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant

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Step 4: AHA/BHA or Retinol

If you used an exfoliator in the last step, skip this one. This is where retinol and AHAs start to come into play. Using AHAs and BHAs at the same time as retinol can be irritating depending on your skin type, so we recommend alternating nights or using AHA/BHA products in the morning and retinol at night to limit irritation. If you aren’t using retinol, this is where you might opt for a glycolic or lactic acid serum or mask that will exfoliate your skin overnight. If retinol is a little too strong for your skin, try a bakuchiol product instead. Always wait until skin is completely dry before applying retinol—usually wait about 20 minutes and then allow your retinol product to fully absorb before moving on.

Versed

Gentle Retinol Serum

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PCA Skin

Retinol Renewal

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If you’re worried about mixing acids yourself, opt for a product that’s already done the ratio for you.

Allies of Skin

Retinoid Brightening Sleeping Facial

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Shani Darden Skincare

Retinol Reform

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Step 5: Eye Cream

Opt for a heavier formula for nighttime use that focuses on moisturizing and treating the undereye.

RoC

Retinol Correxion Eye Cream

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Shiseido

Wrinkle Smoothing Eye Cream

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Step 6: Moisturizer

“Look for moisturizing creams with ingredients that support your skin barrier such as squalane, ceramides, lipids (oils), glycerin in a cream base matched to your skin type,” Dr. Bailey explained. “This helps to ‘seal the deal’ over your correcting products and helps protect skin from barrier breakdown (irritant dermatitis) and prevent trans-epidermal water loss.” If you have oily skin, you can opt for an oil-free moisturizer (similar to what you used in the daytime), whereas those with dry skin might need a thicker product before bed.

Farmacy

Ceramide Moisturizer

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CeraVe

Skin Renewing Night Cream

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Step 7: Sleeping Mask

Sleeping masks help create a barrier to seal in all of your products and keep your skin optimally hydrated throughout the night. If you like to use a facial oil at night, this would be the step to add it in as well.

Summer Fridays

Jet Lag Mask

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Origins

Overnight Hydrating Mask

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Step 8: Spot Treatment

If you have any active breakouts, this is when you would apply a spot treatment or a pimple patch (our editors’ favorite way to get rid of a pesky zit). Do not apply any other skincare over a spot treatment, especially retinol.

Hero Cosmetics

Mighty Patch Original Acne Patches

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Alleyoop

All-In-One Blemish Treatment

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Source: Kalos Skincare | Unsplash

What Skincare Ingredients to Use Together and Which to Avoid

When you begin to combine the skincare you already own with new things you want to purchase, you need to be careful about which active ingredients you are layering together. Always check to see what the main ingredients in your products are to avoid irritation.

The Don’ts

Retinol + Glycolic Acid = No… or maybe!

If you have sensitive or reactive skin, these two can be problematic when layered together. If you’re going to use any AHA alongside retinol, be sure to start slow to avoid redness and peeling. Opt for a product that combines small percentages of AHA/BHA with retinol already in the formula.

Retinol + Vitamin C = NO!

It’s often debated as to whether or not the pH of L-ascorbic acid destabilizes retinol and therefore renders it ineffective—so far the jury is still out. However, since retinol makes you more sensitive to sunlight and vitamin C is best worn during the day, it’s best to keep these two separate by applying vitamin C in the morning and retinol at night.

Retinol + Benzoyl Peroxide = NO!

This is a combination Dr. Bailey warned against because it can cause dryness and irritation, and the two products can deactivate each other if used together, making them less effective. Retinol is used as an acne treatment (particularly in prescription formulas like tretinoin), but it doesn’t play well with the actives in spot treatments, so be careful if you need to use both. Remember, putting retinol on an active breakout will do nothing to cure it, as retinol works on the deeper layers of skin. Retinol is never to be used as a spot treatment!

Benzoyl Peroxide + AHAs = NO!

These are two exfoliators from different ends of the spectrum, so be careful when combining them, as it’s very easy to stress out your skin by over-exfoliating.

Source: Mathilde Langevin | Unsplash

The Dos

Benzoyl Peroxide + Salicylic Acid = Yes, sometimes.

For acne-prone skin, using these two together once a week can work wonders on active breakouts or congested pores. If you’re not experiencing either, it’s best to leave these two alone.

Vitamin C + Peptides = Yes!

These two go together like champagne and OJ. Peptides are kind of like the hype man of skincare: They’re not that special on their own, but they really rev up the effectiveness of other active ingredients. These short-chain amino acids are the building blocks of the protein that creates collagen and elastin, and they really love antioxidants like vitamin C.

Vitamin C + SPF = Yes!

You have to have sun protection during the day—that’s a given—but your SPF does nothing to protect you from environmental pollution and heat-activated free radicals. For this, you need an effective antioxidant like vitamin C.

Retinol + Hyaluronic Acid = Yes!

You should always replenish moisture after applying retinol, hence why retinol and hyaluronic acid are a dynamic duo in your skincare routine.

I Constantly Get Compliments on My Skin—These are the 3 Products I Recommend to Everyone

I Asked a Dermatologist to Makeover My Skincare Routine—This Is What She Changed

Posted on July 18, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

Why Financial Wellness Is the Latest Self-Care Trend

Sure, you’ve heard of buzzwords like work-life balance, self-care Sundays, and positive affirmations, but have you heard of “financial wellness?” Take a pause from your face masks and meditation pillows: There’s another form of self-care, and it just might change your life. According to a Bank of America survey, over half of companies are now offering financial wellness programs, and major universities like UCLA have started financial wellness programs for their students. Even though corporations and major businesses are instilling financial wellness programs for their employees, it isn’t just corporate America lingo or a buzzword reserved for Wall Street employees and bankers. Financial wellness is actually a crucial part of individual self-care and physical health that many people ignore. Read on for this important factor of self-care and how you can practice it yourself.

In this article

1
What is financial wellness?

2
Why is financial wellness important?

3
Tips to increase financial wellness:

What is financial wellness?

To put it simply, financial wellness is exactly what it sounds like: healthy finances. You feel prepared to handle any financial crisis, are in control of paying off debt, know what’s coming in and going out, and don’t feel stressed over your financial situation (no matter what income you make). But financial well-being does not end at having “enough” money and knowing what to do with it. The difference between financial wellness and financial literacy is that financial wellness recognizes that money is not an end destination (i.e. the end goal isn’t just to make a lot of it); instead, money is a tool we use to live our happiest, healthiest, best lives possible.

Money is a trade system. You’re exchanging your life’s energy for whatever you want to make your life happier, healthier, and better. Think about it: Money is simply a tangible exchange for the biggest portion of time, energy, passion, and experience you put into your life. How you manage, invest, and spend your money not only dictates your future finances, but it’s also subconsciously sending a message to yourself about what your life’s energy is worth.

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Why is financial wellness important?

If you view your bubble baths and superfood lattes entirely separate from tax season and your IRA, it’s time you start looking at the big picture. Think of your well-being as a pie chart. Of course we know the nutrition pie slice, the fitness pie slice, and the stress-relief pie slice. Maybe you even know that strong relationships and a fulfilling work life are also important pieces of the pie. But finance is also a slice of your well-being pie, as it’s such a huge part of our lives.

Finance is one of the most common major stressors, and (as many of us know all too well) chronic stress can negatively affect our health and well-being. Financial anxiety not only affects your bank account or spending habits, but it can also bleed into other areas of your life as well (stress over big purchases, avoiding necessary healthcare for fear of the bill, affecting relationships, etc.).

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Beyond stress that comes with poor financial wellness, good financial wellness is a tool to help our lives be better; it’s knowing how to use the money we have for our well-being (and grow that money for more well-being). Think: achieving whatever makes us happy, whether it’s creating a home, taking care of a family, or having amazing experiences, as well as spending money on our health, whether it’s necessary healthcare, a gym membership, or regular acupuncture sessions.

The end goal isn’t actually to have a lot of money. The goal is to spend a lot of money (and know how to spend it) throughout your life so you’re as healthy and happy as possible. I don’t mean you can spend all of your paycheck on Postmates and shoes. I mean that at the end of your life, you’ll be able to look back on many decades of experience, memories, and happiness that you achieved partly because of how you spent your money. Financial wellness is beyond investing, saving, and 401ks; financial wellness addresses money as a common stressor, and it also views money as a tool to help us be healthier and happier. The good news? You can add it to your self-care routine no matter what your income is or what financial situation you’re in. Here’s how:

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Tips to increase financial wellness:

Budget based on what brings you joy

Be thoughtful about how you want to spend your life’s energy. Does it really bring you joy to grab drinks with that friend you don’t have fun with or to buy the top you’ll never end up wearing? Managing your money based on what does and doesn’t bring you joy will reduce stress that comes with spending money on the vacations, items, and experiences that you truly love.

Educate yourself

Throughout all my years of education, not one person decided to tell me that a personal finance class might be something important (or even accessible!). A lot of my financial stress comes from feeling uneducated. What the heck are all these types of accounts, how do I pay off debt, and what can I actually “afford?” Simply educating yourself might take away a lot of stress, help you grow your money, and find out what you deserve. Talk to your employer or university to see if they offer financial literacy programs, take our Finance 101 online course, or check out a resource like Ellevest, which is dedicated to educating and helping women manage their money.

Invest in yourself

We’ve been talking about spending money, but money can also be invested. Just like you invest money into stocks to get more than what you originally invested over time, you can invest money into other things as well: get the gym membership, purchase that online course, or shop for organic groceries. Another financial wellness tip: The more money you put into something, the more likely you are to keep it up as a habit. Decide what you want your habits to be, and then invest your money to achieve them.

Make tracking your money part of your routine

PSA: If you’re not checking your credit card statements, checking account, and any other accounts or cards on a regular basis, you need to be. Make a finance check part of your weekly routine. Take yourself on a coffee date to set some financial goals at the beginning of the week or put on a face mask and go over bank statements on Sunday evening. Not only can this reduce added stress by identifying credit card fraud ASAP or knowing if you’re close to your credit limit, but you’ll also be more aware of how your money is being spent and feel more in control of your finances.

Automate savings

The rule is to pay your past self first (debt) and pay your future self next (savings). If you’re having trouble saving money or want to start saving for those big life purchases that will make you happy, try to automate so you don’t have to think about it. Even if it’s just $5, set up an automatic deposit or transfer into a separate account from every paycheck. It’s kind of like setting short, easily attainable goals so you feel like you’re getting closer to what you want most in life, and it also brings clarity to know how much money you can spend on your day-to-day expenses and purchases to still enjoy the moment. The key is to save what you can but remember that the point of saving is so you can eventually spend it. Don’t forget to actually spend on the things you really want.

Spend money to make you happier

Even if you don’t think you have any money to spend, is there any way to rearrange your budget for the things that will really make you happy? If a facial puts you in a state of bliss for days or a service like Instacart or Blue Apron saves you time and energy from chores you hate, try to see where you can find the money for it, at least once every few months. This might be as simple as using a Keurig instead of your $3.50 Starbucks every morning, packing lunch instead of buying it, or pulling from your clothing budget.

Why Money Actually Can Buy Happiness (and How)

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Posted on July 18, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

What to Wear With Your Skinny Jeans

Source: Aïda Badji Sané

Of all of the surprising things the past year brought, one of the most absolutely shocking things was that skinny jeans became one of the biggest controversies of 2021.

From lovingly being called chuegy to flat-out being deemed unstylish, skinny jeans have been debated, picked apart, and talked about to no end this year. The result? Some are clinging onto theirs for dear life and others have packed them up, waiting for the day that the fashion officials deem them trendy again. If you’re part of the former, today’s your lucky day.

While skinny jeans might not be the hottest or coolest jeans at the moment, they have a time and a place to be pulled out of the closet—and with the right pieces, they can be just as chic as any straight-leg jeans you could dream of. Ready to make the most of your skinny jeans in 2021? Do it with these foolproof looks that put them on center stage.

1. With a tank and oversized blazer

tank / tank (plus-size) / sunglasses / blazer / blazer (plus-size) / bag / jeans / jeans (plus-size) / sandals

You can rarely go wrong with an oversized blazer, and the contrast between the larger fit of the blazer on top and fitted pants on bottom will balance each other out and make your outfit work. If you’re wearing it out, pair it with a cropped tank on top; if you’re wearing it to a jeans-appropriate office, pair it with a tucked-in tee.

2. With a white button-up and sneakers

button-up / button-up (plus-size) / sunglasses / bag / jeans / jeans (plus-size) / sneakers

There’s nothing more classic than a white button-up, and paired with a distressed pair of skinny jeans and a cool baguette bag, it’s a uniform-worthy match that’s so classic, there’s no chance it looks dated.

3. With a satin shirt and mules

top / top (plus-size) / sunglasses / bag / jeans / jeans (plus-size) / mules

To cool up your skinny jeans, opt for a silk button-up in a retro pattern that will do all the talking when paired with your skinnies. With mules in a pop of color and neutral accessories, it’s a transitional look of our dreams. Pro tip: To give yourself more shape, unbutton the bottom half of your top and try a half-tuck.

4. With an oversized sweatshirt and sneakers

sweatshirt / sweatshirt (plus-size) / sunglasses / bag / jeans / jeans (plus-size) / sneakers

As far as transitional looks go, there’s nothing quite like a sweatshirt-and-jeans combo. To make a sweater work with your skinny jeans, go for an oversized fit or a couple of sizes larger than your usual size (think: hitting right below your butt). To complete the casual look, pair it with sneakers and a belt bag.

5. With a knitted tank and thong sandals

top / sunglasses / necklace / bag / jeans / jeans (plus-size) / sandals

Looking to break out your white skinny jeans before it’s too late? Make them into an ideal end-of-summer outfit with a knitted tank, gold accessories, and thong sandals—all in neutral shades.

6. With an eyelet top

top / top (plus-size) / sunglasses / bag / jeans / jeans (plus-size) / sandals

One of the most gorgeous trends of the year? Eyelet lace. A voluminous eyelet top is perfect for pairing with understated skinny jeans to balance out a look.

7. With all black

bodysuit / tank (plus-size) / necklace / bag / jeans / top / boots

There’s nothing chicer and more timeless than an all-black moment, which is the perfect way to make your black skinny jeans work this year. To break up the monotony of the black, sandwich it between brown accessories to keep it neutral, but give it some visual interest.

We Tried the Cult-Favorite Madewell Jeans
here are our unfiltered thoughts
READ ON

Posted on July 14, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

How to Navigate Life as a Newlywed

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that there’s no manual for marriage as a newlywed. Sure, there are plenty of self-help books and great resources to set you up for success like marriage counseling.

After being married for almost two years, I like to think marriage is like jumping into a waterfall. You can try your best to explain it to someone, but they won’t fully understand it until they’ve jumped too. Once their two feet have left the ledge, they are completely immersed into the mystery, the thrill, the fear and all the life-changing emotions that come when you say “I do.”

Marriage is a daring adventure that exposes every part of a person. It requires courage and vulnerability. It challenges everything you’ve ever known and exchanges comfort for growth.

Marriage….challenges everything you’ve ever known and exchanges comfort for growth.

When I first began dating my husband eight years ago, we had so many friends, family members and random strangers offer their round of advice to us. People would love to tell us what marriage was really like and would love to dish on everything they thought we “needed” to know. Yet, all of it couldn’t have prepared me for the big transition.

After marrying someone, you’re not just letting go of your former life. You’re completely starting fresh and building something new with someone else. You’ve invited someone into your most sacred and most personal spaces to dream alongside you and to create a world together.

You transition into shared spaces and shared expenses—shared everything! If you’re a newlywed and you’ve felt the shift of change within your life, then you’re good company.

Marriage affirms that life is constantly changing and teaches us how to adapt.

Our first year in marriage, we were faced with a reality that no one felt prepared for—a pandemic and time of global unrest. When I say everything changed, I can honestly say nothing felt familiar. That in itself developed into a form of trauma. While I’d known my husband for so many years, I had never known what it was like to truly share a life together—one that required us balancing our finances, selecting what we’d stock our fridge with, deciding what to eat for dinner and understanding each other’s differences.

Coming from a strong Hispanic, independence-driven home life, I had to learn how to lean on my spouse and depend on him, contrary to the self-reliant tendencies I had cultivated early on in my life. Marriage encourages us to let our walls down and learn to depend on the other person in the relationship.

Marriage encourages us to let our walls down and learn to depend on the other person in the relationship.

Marriage inspires us to find refuge in our spouse—leaning on each other through the good and bad moments.

It’s an amazing thing to have a life partner, especially when you have found someone you can trust wholeheartedly. Life is so unpredictable. It’s filled with unexpected moments—both joyful and devastating. It does so much good for your soul when you can come home to the person who will walk by your side through every season.

Whether you’re reading this and you’re an introvert or extrovert, you need the affirmation of having someone who will carry your days with you. We need each other in order to grow and develop into the best versions of ourselves. That support can be so life-changing when it’s given by the right person!

Marriage brings out the best and worst in you. So it’s important to have as much grace as possible.

Every marriage has its disagreements and flaws. There’s not one marriage that is perfect! There are differences of opinions, differences in preferences and differences in mindsets. When you’re a newlywed, sometimes your pitfalls seem to come to the surface more as you continue to navigate this new season together.

Something I’ve learned alongside my husband is to surround ourselves with healthy accountability—people we can trust to navigate life together. When questions pop up and we need help resolving conflict, these are the people we lean on within our inner circle to help us walk through these differences.

The beauty of marriage is that you both see things differently, even if you married someone who is very similar to you. You both see the world differently. You both interpret things and receive messages differently. And guess what? That’s OK!

You will learn how to embrace your differences and how to leverage them.

When you return from your honeymoon, you are met with the reality that marriage actually requires effort. It’s hard work! It’s a daily choice to love the other person, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s a daily choice to show forgiveness, grace, compassion and determination for the relationship.

Your differences are reminders that you both are unique and bring something fresh to the table. Learn to listen and appreciate your partner’s views so you can both find respect for the way you each process life. Communicate the things that matter most to you and fight to maintain mutual respect at all times.

Communicate the things that matter most to you and fight to maintain mutual respect at all times.

Marriage requires sacrifice, but it is so worth it. Never let petty arguments keep you from fully appreciating the treasure that is your marriage. Dive in deep, stay humble and find ways to show your love through action.

The best way to build a healthy foundation is to let go of your expectations and be present in the moment. Take on every experience you have together as a learning curve. If there’s anything I’ve learned as a newlywed, it’s to choose my battles wisely and to always leap at the opportunity to serve one another.

Also, always remember goodnight kisses, to order takeout for at-home movie nights and to wash the dishes together. These things go a long way!

What lessons have you learned in marriage? What is some marriage advice that you were given that proved to be true?

Image via Valarie Duran Photography

Posted on July 14, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

Simple Resume Tricks to Help You Switch Careers

Source: Danielle Moss for The Everygirl

There was a time, not too long ago, when it was common to work the same job for your entire career (just think about your grandparents). But today, that’s not the case. According to a recent Forbes study, 49 percent of Millennials would quit their job within the next two years (25 percent of which have already left a job within the past two years). This is partially due to the fact that we’re the most disengaged generation in the United States—71 percent report being either not engaged or actively disengaged at work, and according to a separate 2018 research study, while boomers considered being a good provider as the most important aspect of their job, not surprisingly, millennials have very different priorities.

We value passion and impact above everything else.

While job searching can be stressful, I love the fact that it’s no longer taboo to leave a job because you’re just not passionate about it. You shouldn’t have to spend your life doing something that you don’t enjoy, and in order to find the thing that you do enjoy, you may have to do a complete 180 and switch industries altogether.

The first time I realized I was working in the wrong industry, it didn’t take long for the self-doubt to start creeping in. I asked myself so many questions: How would I land a new job in an industry I had never worked in before? Did I waste all these years at my current job for nothing? Would I have to start all over again? But once I started looking around for jobs in new industries, I quickly realized that, while I didn’t have the exact experience many of them were looking for, I did have the basic set of skills necessary to do the jobs well. So I focused on building my resume around transferable skills—skills that can transfer from one industry to the next because they’re necessary in order to succeed in any job.

Since learning this trick, I’ve been able to land jobs in a wide variety of industries, from event marketing to real estate technology to public relations and digital branding, all of which have inched me even closer to achieving the career of my dreams. Below, you’ll find the four transferable skills I’ve found to be the most eye-catching as well as how to seamlessly weave them into your resume to prove your value in any industry.

Critical thinking

Critical thinking, also known as problem solving, is the ability to identify an issue, weigh the pros and cons of multiple solutions, and make an educated decision on the best path forward. Organizations everywhere value critical thinking, no matter the industry—in fact, job postings requiring the skill have doubled since 2009, as Forbes reported, and usually, it’s the employees who take it upon themselves to solve problems who are also the ones that make the most impact.

When preparing your resume to apply for a job in a new industry, pepper in a few bullet points about how you solved problems in your previous roles. Did you identify a more efficient way to do something? Did you implement a new tool that saved money or increased productivity? Did you notice a hole in an existing process and propose a better way to move forward? Rather than simply listing “problem solving” as a skill, paint a picture of how you thought through a problem critically, why you landed on a particular solution, and what the positive result of that decision turned out to be. This will show your interviewer that you’re always thinking about ways to do things better—a skill every company values.

Communication

Having strong communication skills is essential across every job and every industry. You can make this skill apparent from your very first interaction with a potential new employer simply by the way you write that first email as well as when and how often you follow up. I know the feeling of firing off a well-polished application and then never hearing anything in return (I even wrote an article about it; it happens that often).

It can feel daunting having to follow up with a stranger, but I strongly believe that, if done in a polite and time-appropriate manner, this is actually an opportunity to show off your communication skills. Hiring managers are busy, and in my experience, they appreciate a candidate who has the confidence to offer a gentle reminder. This can give them a glimpse into how you would operate as an actual employee as well. If you did work there, you wouldn’t want them to think you were too timid to follow up with a coworker or client if they owed you a response, so don’t be too timid as an applicant, either.

If you end up landing an interview, make sure you’re truly listening to the questions you’re being asked—this may sound obvious, but sometimes we tend to walk into interviews with a script of what we want to say already rehearsed, then we spend the whole time the interviewer is talking thinking about what we’re going to say next. It’s important to be prepared, but make sure you’re actually answering the questions they ask, not simply spitting out the answers you want them to hear. If a question catches you off guard and you need a moment to think about the best way to answer it, let them know. Intentional communication during the interview process will show them that you can be trusted to handle yourself professionally with clients and key stakeholders and that you listen to understand, rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.

Teamwork

No matter the industry, it’s pretty much a guarantee that you’ll be working with other people in some capacity. For that reason, the ability to work as part of a larger team is an essential skill. At its core, teamwork means that a group of individual people must all work together to achieve a common goal. Within that group of people, there will be employees of different backgrounds, skill sets, interests, and responsibilities—but if you’re a true team player, you’ll be willing to take on essential tasks that may fall outside of your wheelhouse if those tasks will help achieve the common goal.

When trying to switch industries—or land any job for that matter—we tend to show employers our professional highlight reel, but it’s equally as important to show that you’re a team player by including some examples of where you took on a project for the good of the overall team, even if it wasn’t necessarily the most glamorous task. Within any industry, I’ve learned that there are four little words that will immediately set off red flags: “That’s not my job.” By showing an employer that you don’t consider yourself “above” particular tasks, you’ll be positioning yourself as someone who can provide value in any team setting.

Organization

Being organized can essentially be broken down into two parts: You know how to manage your time and you know how to multitask. When putting together your resume, think through how you can best illustrate the multitude of different things you were in charge of at your previous roles.

In addition to your regular responsibilities, were you on a culture committee? Did you volunteer your time for additional projects? Did your work straddle two different departments? If so, how did you stay organized? Are you a fan of time blocking, or do swear by time management tools like Trello, Evernote, or Asana? The beauty of this skill is that there is no right or wrong way to stay organized—what’s important is that you have a system and that it works for you. Every company would gladly welcome a little more order into their business. By showing that you can stay organized amidst the chaos, they’ll see you as a valuable resource, no matter your background.

When it comes down to it, specific skills can always be taught—but transferable skills can generally only come from experience, and hiring managers know that. If you’re trying to jump from one industry to another, a learning curve will be inevitable, so be honest about what you do and don’t know. However, every company, no matter the industry, will be impressed with a candidate who can showcase these four qualities, and the smart ones will place just as much value on that as anything else.

How to Write a Resume With Little or Irrelevant Experience
cinch that interview with these tips
READ ON

Posted on July 13, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

Darling Letters: How to Celebrate the Little Things

We are bringing “Darling Letters” from your inbox to the blog! We love the art of letter writing and believe it helps build authentic community. Our editors and contributors have thoughtfully written encouraging letters to cut through the busyness and speak straight to your heart.

“Celebration” is a word that we often associate with remarkable milestones—birthdays, weddings, new babies and graduations. Celebration involves planning, sending invites and ordering food. Celebration, with its sense of recognition and rest from routine, is an event.

The problem with this approach to celebration is that this practice comes rarely. When we choose only to observe so-called “big events” as worthy of taking a joyful pause, we may miss out on daily successes and small victories as being worthy of our time, acknowledgment and delight.

We may miss out on daily successes and small victories as being worthy of our time, acknowledgment and delight.

Throughout the past few years, I have been learning to celebrate the little things. I no longer only look forward to major life milestones. I have learned to see small successes—a new client, an accomplished goal, subtle transitions or even silly holidays like my half birthday—as worthy of celebration.

As we continue to enjoy the summer season, let’s take advantage of a slower pace of life and more hours of sunshine to practice true celebration. We can continue to observe the rituals of major milestones with planned parties, pretty invitations and gifts, but let’s also devote time and space to the celebration of the “simple things”—new friendships, work milestones or transitions into a new season.

Let’s celebrate the little things with a pause in our routines, a moment of gratitude and a slice of cake.

Let’s also devote time and space to the celebration of the “simple things.”

With joy,
Kelsey Yarnell, the Darling family

Why is it important to celebrate the little moments in life? What’s the most recent “little thing” that you have celebrated?

Image via Prakash Shroff, Darling Issue No. 11

Posted on July 11, 2021 by admin_NzgxOGR — Leave a comment

Women in Male-Dominated Industries Share Their Experience

Source: Social Squares

Unfortunately, our reality as women is that we still face workplace challenges—from irritating man-splaining to overt sexual harassment—that men simply don’t need to think about or learn how to deal with. While nobody should ever have to deal with them, the issues are magnified for women working in male-dominated industries.

From “bro-culture” to assumptions that you don’t know how to do your job based on your gender, women working in these fields go to work every day already saddled with the task of proving their worth and abilities—a weight their male colleagues do not bear.

What can we do about this problem? Shine a light on it. Encourage women to speak out against these circumstances and to demand equal treatment (and pay). Here at The Everygirl, we want to be part of this movement. So we asked women working in male-dominated fields to reach out to us with their stories and their advice. We were blown away by their responses and hope our readers are similarly affected. Thank you to each and every woman who shared her story with us. We are honored to host your words.

Real women on their day-to-day experiences

Source: Social Squares

On dealing with the pay gap

I wonder if I get paid as much as my coworkers that are in similar positions as me, and I then wonder how I even broach the subject of pay inequality with my supervisor and manager.

— Jill, Environmental Engineering

On the added pressure of working under a microscope

It is very difficult to shake the feeling of always being under a microscope. In military aviation, pilots are constantly evaluated in all that we do—training flights, squadron presentations, you name it. Being one of just five female pilots in a squadron of 200+, my performance is highlighted since I stand out. I sometimes interact with men who have never worked or flown with a female pilot before, and that puts added pressure on me to make a good impression. I feel like if I do well, those men will have a positive impression of female pilots, but if I mess up, they will project my mistake onto female aviators as a whole.

— Caitlin, Pilot

I want to preface this by saying that I love my male coworkers and most of the challenges I face come from dealing with those outside of the venue, but there are challenges I face that my colleagues don’t—simply because they are men.

I have to show up to work with a game face on every day and every night. When I’m inside the four walls of the venue, I have to prove that I am capable and deserve to be in my place of work to the men passing through—bands, managers, engineers, male customers—whereas that respect is inherently earned by my male colleagues. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve been called “sweetie” and “honey” or been treated like I’m not in a leadership role (double whammy for being female and looking much younger than I actually am—not complaining about that one!). The look on men’s faces when I tell them I’m the manager is sometimes surprise, sometimes embarrassment. I’ve started to bite the bullet and introduce myself with my title as soon as the band loads in. The fact that I have to do that and my male coworkers don’t will never stop annoying me, but I would rather state my role and earn that respect right off the bat than have to fight an uphill battle all night.

— Kristen, Music Industry

On the assumption that you “don’t understand” how to do your job

The biggest challenge by far is men doubting your knowledge of the games and athletes. Many assume you don’t understand the rules of specific sports or that you aren’t familiar with certain athletes. Trust me, I wouldn’t be working here if I didn’t have a solid understanding of the material because I wouldn’t be interested in it.

— Olivia, Sports Advertising & Sales

I’ve faced challenges with men in this field externally and internally assuming that I (as a woman) do not know how to operate power tools properly, which, in fact, is part of my job. In reality, I know how to operate more tools than the average male and actually use power tools in my personal life for many DIY projects as well. So it can be frustrating to be automatically pegged as not being knowledgeable in this field due to my gender, especially when it directly relates to the success of my job. I feel that I have to fight twice as hard as my male counterparts to gain credibility in this field.

— Jenny, Power Tools Marketing

A lot of men in finance assume they know more about investing than women. It is blatantly obvious and always upsetting. At one point, a male coworker approached my desk red-faced and raising his voice because I corrected a particular statistic he was frequently using in his sales pitch, which caused an embarrassingly huge scene in the office where he attempted to belittle my intelligence in front of several coworkers. I can’t imagine the same reaction if it had been a male coworker.

— Ella, Financial Services Industry

One thing I did notice is in the beginning, [my male coworkers] constantly asked if I needed help with jobs. It was frustrating at first, but it gave me all the more reason to show them that I was able to do the job just as well, if not better, than they could. In fact, because I had the smallest hands out of all of them, I was able to get into places under the hood that they couldn’t and change light bulbs that they couldn’t get to. After about a month, it was them asking me for help, which definitely felt like I’d earned their respect as a mechanic.

— Kate, Automotive Industry

On dealing with the outdated “boys’ club” mentality

There are hurdles for women when it comes to being promoted to leadership positions. Unfortunately, going for beers and golfing with the boss is still a way to promote oneself, and women often do not fit in with this “buddy, buddy” type method of promotion.

— Emma, Environmental Scientist

I think the biggest challenge is the “boys’ club” mentality. It’s one thing to say that there is a glass ceiling for women, but it’s an added challenge when you are also dealing with a boys’ club and not fitting in because you’re a woman. It creates a tough work dynamic in addition to contributing to your stalled career progression.

— Kelly, Athletics Industry

On “man-terruptions”

One of the most prominent challenges that I face on the daily is what I refer to as “man-terruptions.” This normally occurs during meetings when a man and a woman start talking at the same time. I have noticed that almost always the woman will stop prior to the man and the man will continue on. I have also noticed that if a man says one thing and a woman says the same thing, it is the man who is remembered for stating whatever it was rather than a woman. It’s small challenges like this that aggravate me, and maybe because I work with an older, male-driven field, I notice these occurrences more and more.

— Alexis, IT

On the lack of respect from co-workers, clients, or customers

It has been challenging to earn respect as an expert from the customers and to relate to them. A lot of customers initially were willing to work with me for the “novelty” of working with a female. It took hustle to surmount the vertical learning curve and get the men around me to respect my position, my leadership, and my opinion.

— Christina, Commercial Plumbing

Especially in health care, there tends to be an omnipresent sentiment (from both other men in the field and from patients) that when you step into an operating room, you will be seen by a male. The most frequent comment I get is, “Well, I’ve never had a female dentist before.” Especially as a young, female practitioner, patients tend to think you’re the assistant or hygienist. Although by now, I take this with a grain of salt, there is the constant feeling that you need to prove yourself in this male-dominated field and earn the same respect as your male colleagues.

— Caris, Dentist

One of the most common challenges I’ve faced is being seen as an authority figure equal with my that of my male coworkers. It seems that men are seen as the “natural leaders.” This often causes people to look right past me, a female, as a capable leader in a position of authority.

— Emily, Youth Ministry

It’s extremely surprising how people look at you differently based on your appearance. Like, if I wear a dress to a video shoot people start actually acting as if I am less capable of working a camera.

— Kelsey, College Athletics

On derogatory language

I have been called a “bitch” more than once by men who (must) think the answers I give to their questions were inadequate. I’m sure that it will happen again. As a woman in a man’s industry, I have learned so much about myself over the past two years, and I have learned far more about men and the social constructs that older men grew up with and continue to blindly follow.

— Christina, Commercial Plumbing

There were multiple situations where drivers or even managers would make comments about things like me needing a boyfriend, how I needed to “get laid” or “be spanked,” male coworkers discussed going to strip clubs/breastaurants (Hooters, Twin Peaks—where they actually took me once), and even situations where our HR department told me I couldn’t file complaints about things like that because I had said the word f**k before.

— Allie, Logistics & Supply Train

On inappropriate and unwanted physical touch

I have had the unfortunate experience of being spoken down to, been called a “gal,” had my work not taken seriously, had my shoulders rubbed, and had my hair caressed. It’s tricky when you are only 24 years old and have just started at a firm that is male-dominated. What are you supposed to do in this situation?

— Ashwini, Accounting

Real women’s advice on how to deal with it

Source: Social Squares

Speak up, speak up, speak up

My advice is simple: If you are uncomfortable with something, voice your opinion. Do not be afraid that the office is male-dominated—you work hard and have every right to speak up. Stand up for yourself and demand respect (in a professional way, of course).

— Ashwini, Accounting

I have also learned throughout the years that speaking up is so important. I used to keep my mouth shut, even when I had an idea or I disagreed. Now, I will never let myself go unheard, and that confidence has been instrumental in building my credibility. Confidence is important when it comes to promotions as well. I know what I deserve, and I am not afraid to ask for it.

— Emma, Environmental Scientist

I’ve been very strategic in explaining these moments to my male colleagues. They have started noticing it and have been helpful in redirecting questions. My colleagues have also been intentional about giving me credit when credit is due. My strategy has also included being out in the tech community so people start recognizing who I am and that I’m an authority in the bootcamp field. I’ve started speaking at conferences and challenging myself to approach high-level executives during conferences and networking meetings. In essence, I’ve rallied people around me who can stand up for me, and I’ve also decided to approach my field with boldness.

— Julia, IT

My male co-workers are super receptive, and I communicate with them often about how it feels to be a female in this industry. Knowledge is power. No one is going to understand the female perspective if we don’t explain how specific situations in the workplace make us feel underscored, less than, or powerless. Some will say that “sharing our feelings” isn’t the right route to take, but I wholeheartedly disagree. If I feel like I didn’t get a word in edgewise during a meeting, I have no problem sharing that with my colleagues after said meeting. Yes, there’s a time and place for it, but we need to be a voice and an advocate for ourselves. If we don’t have those candid conversations about our positions in the workplace from time to time, no one will ever understand our point of view, and we won’t make progress.

Lastly, and maybe most importantly, be an advocate and a sounding board for other women in male-dominated industries. If we’re going to overcome these challenges, we need to build each other up, celebrate our wins, and share our stories to empower one another.

— Kristen, Music Industry

Cultivate (or create!) a support system

Here in Chicago, my female co-workers and I are also a part of a group called Women in Chicago Sports. This group is fairly new, but it is comprised of the women working in the various sports TV/advertising offices as well as all of the Chicago pro sports front offices. We are all in this together, and it is a great feeling to have such a large support system not only within my company but my city as well.

— Olivia, Sports Advertising & Sales

You can’t second-guess yourself. I try to make sure that I learn as much as I can and understand that having a female perspective is important. It’s been a lifesaver to meet up with other female music journalists and have that support and know that we’re all going through the same things.

— Emily, Music Journalism

To overcome challenges that might arise from working in a male-dominated field, I recommend women help out other women! And if you’re the only woman—a situation I’ve been in before—find some like-minded men and align yourself with them.

— Hope, U.S. Army

Find a professional group that will support you and offers professional development support. For me, that has been Society of Women Engineers. In college, it was Engineers Without Borders. I have found that it is important to have a perspective of why you do what you do. When you have a tough day, having a purpose outside of work will get you through.

— Jill, Environmental Engineering

Try not to view other women as competitors. In some industries, it’s easy to fall into this because there are so few of us, and we’re all trying to get to the top. Most of the time, this means that women see a finite number of spots at that level for us, so the automatic feeling when we meet a new female colleague (especially if she’s good) is that we are threatened. Harboring this antagonistic feeling toward a colleague will do you absolutely no good. Instead, focus on you. What you’ll learn is that some of these women may turn out to be your biggest advocates and supporters.

— Laura, Athletics Industry

Work your a** off, take pride in what you do, and remember why you started.

The best advice I can give is to work your ass off every day, especially if you’re new to the job, and, eventually, no one will be questioning your ability to do the job in a male-dominated field. You will probably be working harder than the men around you for quite a while, which is an unfortunate reality, but women are continually making great strides in the workplace, and I have faith that one day it won’t even be a question that a woman can do any job just as well (or better) than a man.

— Ella, Financial Services Industry

You have to toot your own horn. I used to think that my work product would speak for itself; if I was smart and hard-working, I would be rewarded by the universe. This is not the case. If you do something great but don’t tell anyone that is responsible for your career development, you may as well have not done that amazing thing. Look for tactful ways to promote your work. I used Twitter as a way to talk to my association’s members about what I was doing on their behalf, I would send emails to my boss and the board of directors to convey big wins and highlight my work, and I asked for two minutes at important meetings to update other departments on successes.

— Amy, Lobbyist

Don’t lose your confidence!

My advice to others working in a similar field would be to never lose your confidence. The second you start second-guessing yourself is the second that you fail. If you don’t believe in yourself in a male-dominated field, then it’s going to be nearly impossible to make others believe in you too. Never stop fighting the good fight and learn as much as you can to prove them all wrong.

— Jenny, Marketing Power Tools

First and foremost, I work very hard to be good at my job. I am far from perfect, but when I do have slip-ups, I try to actively fight my first instinct to feel guilty for making all female pilots “look bad.” If I’m the one who made the mistake, that should reflect on me—no one else. If someone thinks otherwise, that’s on them.

— Caitlin, Pilot

I’ve surprised myself by watching my confidence grow. I used to work as an EA (also known as a secretary), and when I finally got promoted and promoted again after years of hard work, I would still have days where that stupid little voice inside says, “You should have just stayed where you belong.” But f**k that voice. That voice isn’t the real me, and instead of listening to her, I just look at the facts: Am I good at my job? Yes. Can I run circles around the men in my office? Yes. Did I kill that last creative review? Yes. Am I lesser-than in any way? No.

— Alice, 3D Production

I wish I could say that these challenges don’t bother me and that I bounce back and am unfazed, but that isn’t always the case. There are days where things can really affect me and my confidence takes a hit. Those are the days where I need my girlfriends and a little bit more of that bottle of wine in my kitchen. On the flip side of this, there are days where I take those discouragements and turn them into motivation. Those are the days where I impress myself. I think this happens for women in all types of fields.

— Taylor, Car Sales

I try to remember and understand that the most important reason I’m in my role is to provide a unique perspective. I must embrace my perspective, and, most importantly, I must unapologetically share my perspective. Your perspective is why you were selected for the role and why you are getting paid—share it!

— Kerhyl, Athletics Industry

Editors’ Note: If you have or currently are experiencing sexual harassment at work, read this guide on the next steps you can take in that situation. Not sure if it’s sexual harassment? See this list of common examples.